The Idyllicist

Studying wisdom of the past to build a better future

  • The Root of All Religion

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    “Who sees all beings in his own Self, and his own Self in all beings, loses all fear.” – Isa Upanishad

    In its earliest forms, religion was a way for the natural to interact with the supernatural. Some paid the unseen fealty, others made deals, and still others saw them as simply a part of a larger whole. 

    But at its core, religion is the manifestation of the idea that all comes from one, and one comes from all, in the end. In Abrahamic systems, this is God creating the universe. In Eastern systems, this is the universe creating God. 

    And this idea is a comforting one indeed, but a peer beneath the surface reveals an uncomfortable truth. Each of us comes from the same essence, and while you are not your neighbor, you do share a common home and a common origin. 

    The uncomfortable truth to this deepest layer of reality is that, just as any act of good to another is an act of good to oneself, any act of evil to another is an act of evil to oneself. In Eastern thought, this is true in the most literal sense. In Abrahamic thought, this is true as a brother does good or evil to a brother. Even so, you are your own blood. 

    And beyond this is the notion that you are fundamentally connected not just to all other consciousness, but all other things. Scientifically there is a basis for this as well. All consists of the same protons, neutrons, and electrons. At our smallest and most fundamental levels, everything and everyone is identical. It is simply the arrangement of those pieces, and what we do with them, that makes us individuals. 

    This may seem a selfish argument for altruism, but not so when reflected. Just as they are you, so you are them. Another will see themselves in you, just as you see yourself in them. And they, too, are presented with the choice of kindness or evil, just as you are. 

    How will you treat yourself?

  • The Song of Thewe

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    Note from the Author: This is the third of this series of poems. Next week, we’ll return to regular posts.

    Here we discuss the Third of the Beams.

    There are three highest orders for man,
    Three provisions of the Moral Law
    By which seekers of caste must abide.

    The third of these orders is called thewe,
    For cultivation of character
    Will lead to a bountiful harvest.

    Thewe is a calling to a future
    Led not by self-servient actors,
    But the most noble, humble leaders.

    Character is the priest who ushers
    In an era of matrimony
    Holiest between knowledge and truth.

    It is they who are recalled fondly
    That strive for the betterment of all,
    Not just they who occupy the throne.

    A true leader is well-acquainted
    With the idea of sacrifice:
    The good of all comes first and foremost.

    For it is the Thieves who put foremost
    The self in their greed and avarice.
    They lead for naught but themselves alone.

    Oblivion to the narcissists!
    Those who focus only inwardly
    Will become blind to the greater things.

    In this age when character is scarce,
    One can take solace in the known fact
    That trying times breed the capable.

    What is the definition of thewe?

    Good character is a resource scarce,
    An oasis deep in the desert,
    Desolation stretching forever.

    Good character is a breeze in air,
    Refreshing to the weary senses
    Of a traveller lost in the sands.

    Good character is a cool, clean drink,
    Washing away all of the worries
    Of the bygone desperate voyager.

    Upright character is elusive,
    Hiding in the darkest shadows cast
    By those who fall prostrate to themselves.

    Upright character is reclusive,
    Avoiding those who forego the time
    And patience needed to earn its trust.

    Upright character is confounding,
    But for those who seek it with patience,
    Understanding will come naturally.

    Moral character is laudable,
    A lofty goal, yes, but still in reach
    For all those who truly strive for it.

    Moral character is praiseworthy,
    So take the path of humility,
    And you will be recognized by Time.

    Moral character is fulfilling,
    For those who devote themselves to all
    Will be remembered fondly by all.

    We must all strive to act ethically.

    In your life that passes day to day,
    You must be an advocate for all
    Whose rights you are able to defend.

    For the Thieving Ones will never halt
    Their onslaught against the righteous ones.
    They will never bow to compromise.

    So, seek not to please, but advocate.
    Stand up for all those who need it most.
    Be the driving change this world needs.

    And in the face of adversity,
    For adversity will come to you,
    Repudiate with honor and class.

    Take each moment to reflect and learn,
    For good can be found in everything,
    Even when dealing with bad actors.

    Stoop not to their level or methods,
    But be dignified and distinguished
    By your upright conduct in response.

    And in leadership, push for the best.
    Settle not for mediocrity,
    For complacency strangles the mind.

    You will encounter pushback from those
    Who are satisfied with little more
    Than the bare minimum of effort.

    But this is not how progress is made.
    The horizon must ever fall back
    As the human spirit drives forward.

    How will you be remembered by Time?

  • The Song of Wit

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    Note from the Author: You guys seemed to really enjoy my last poem, so here’s another one!

    Here we consider the Second Beam.

    There are three highest orders for man,
    Three provisions of the Moral Law
    By which seekers of caste must abide.

    The second of these orders is wit,
    That which encompasses all knowledge,
    Intelligence, and true awareness.

    Wit is true awareness of oneself,
    More than a measure of knowledge of
    Transient worldly things around.

    Knowledge is the bridegroom of the truth,
    A most sacred wedding between
    Two of the three primeval orders.

    The synonyms of the topic wit
    Are the senses of the universe.
    We are the eyes and ears of the Mind.

    It is truly a noble calling
    To help others to true awareness,
    Though one must first attain it themselves.

    They who commit to spreading knowledge
    Are good in the eyes of the cosmos.
    Eyes desire to name the colors.

    Oblivion to the ignorant!
    Those who live in willful ignorance
    Will be ignorant of their purpose.

    While knowledge may seem malleable,
    One can take solace in the known fact
    It will snap back to truth in due time.

    What is the definition of wit?

    Knowledge is truly fundamental,
    For knowledge is the vehicle of
    Progress and forth moving in this life.

    Knowledge is truly unmoldable,
    For knowledge is the metric by which
    All plans and schemes are to be measured.

    Knowledge is truly material,
    For knowledge is confined to matter
    That makes up our physical world.

    Intelligence is a requisite,
    For intelligence is the pathway
    Upon which treads the great vehicle.

    Intelligence is a schematic,
    For intelligence is the blueprint
    Of plans and schemes to be carried out.

    Intelligence is a stepping stone,
    For intelligence is important,
    Though falls short of that true awareness.

    Awareness is a cherished treasure,
    For awareness is a resource scarce
    That none will find without great searching.

    Awareness is a celebration,
    For awareness opens the spirit
    To the diversity of this life.

    Awareness is the culmination,
    For awareness opens the third eye
    To the inchoate world around.

    There is wisdom behind every eye.

    We should all aspire to become
    Wise and yet curious about life
    Like the sages of the ancient times.

    Philosophers spent their passing days
    Meditating and ruminating
    On the meaning of being human.

    And while the world now spins too fast,
    We may slow it if for a moment
    To reclaim the essence of being.

    Each mind can make a contribution
    To the sum of all human knowledge,
    The summit of our common struggle.

    While not every perspective is based
    On foundation of reality,
    We may learn something from everyone.

    For it is our differences abound
    That form the foundation of our strength,
    The basis of ingenuity.

    But how may we construct a world
    Where wisdom thrives and kindness abounds
    When the present times are so broken?

    When neighbors war and siblings struggle,
    How may curiosity survive
    When destruction is priority?

    One need look within and then outward:
    Peer into your own heart deep within,
    And understand the needs of your kin.

    We may work wonders in times of peace.

  • The Song of Sooth

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    Note from the Author: This past week was incredibly busy, and I had no time to prepare a new post. So, I’ll be sharing more of my own writing here. This is “The Song of Sooth.”

    Here we discuss the First of the Beams.

    There are three highest orders for man,
    Three provisions of the Moral Law
    By which seekers of caste must abide.

    The first of these orders is called sooth,
    For truth is the noblest of all speech
    And the lifeblood of all which is good.

    The truth is a two-way thoroughfare,
    For one may speak no lies to others
    But deceive themselves on the inside.

    There is one kind of lie to be told
    Permissible in the eyes of caste:
    Those which serve to later advance good.

    For it would be unwise to disclose
    One’s location to an enemy
    With intentions to hurt, maim, or kill.

    Those who follow their own self-interest
    And who put themselves before others
    Have forfeited their right to the truth.

    They who attempt to control the truth
    Spit in the face of all creation.
    The cosmos rejects their endeavor.

    Oblivion be to the liar!
    For while the truth may weaken today,
    It will emerge stronger tomorrow.

    In these days when truth seems pliable,
    One can take solace in the known fact
    That the real truth will always break free.

    What is the definition of sooth?

    The truth is unbending, unfailing,
    The strongest of any steel alloy.
    It does not compromise for evil.

    The truth is unbiased, unallied,
    The most objective of perspectives.
    It does not change for falsehoods and lies.

    The truth is upsetting, unnerving,
    The highest standard to emulate.
    It does not lower for anyone.

    The truth is unruly, uncivil,
    The chord most raw upon the eardrum.
    Dissonance can be necessary.

    The truth is unmoving, unerring,
    The feather laid upon the scale.
    There can be no hiding from the truth.

    The truth is unending, undying,
    Eternal warden of the cosmos.
    It will outlive the final protons.

    The truth is unravelling at times,
    But honesty is the highest call,
    The test of a soul in self-conflict.

    The truth is unforgiving at times,
    For it may take years to build the walls,
    But mere seconds to level them all.

    The truth is unbearable at times,
    But the soul who weathers the thunder
    May attain the power of lightning.

    Seeking truth is a lifelong journey.

    The truth may seem to be elusive,
    Swirling close around, yet out of reach,
    Taunting, tantalizing the seeker.

    Thrown about in the turbulent air
    Like debris in the midst of a storm,
    The truth may pass within reach, but just.

    Resting upon the tip of the tongue,
    It starts and teases incessantly,
    Daring the world to unleash it.

    The truth may seem to be everywhere,
    So obvious, yet esoteric,
    Purported truths reveal naught but lies.

    Held in the ancient tomes of the past,
    Concealed by the letters of the gods,
    The truth flutters between the pages.

    Laid bare by modern applications,
    False prophets all around the world
    Claim to provide the truth for a fee.

    The truth may seem to be secluded,
    But hidden within the upright heart
    Is the key to all understanding.

    Ponder your place in the universe:
    What are you, a speck, to the vastness
    Of the cosmos above and around?

    You are everything to existence,
    Necessary and wanted as well
    By the rest of all of creation.

    Isn’t the truth a beautiful thing?

  • Reach Out, Touch Faith

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    “But he said to them, ‘Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.’” – John 20:25b

    Skepticism is a key driver of the human tendency towards curiosity, innovation, and progress. No institution that values real, effective, positive change mandates blind faith. 

    Blind faith is a slippery slope – while it relieves the believer of the burden of decision-making, it can so easily be weaponized into an agent of mass destruction.  

    When I was neck-deep in evangelicalism, I remember being told that Christianity was not a religion, but a “faith.” In hindsight, this was simply another method of distinguishing Christianity from the rest of the religions and cultivating the us-versus-them dynamic that any institution of fear thrives on. But at the time, it was a badge of honor. 

    The idea that faith – believing without seeing – is a superior trait goes back to the Gospel of John. Thomas, one of the disciples of Jesus, refused to believe that Jesus had risen from the dead until he saw and touched his wounds for himself. In this narrative, Jesus appears and allows Thomas to do just that. After this, Jesus blesses those who believe without seeing. 

    On the surface, this is a fairly wholesome tale. A dear teacher and leader has been miraculously resurrected, but one of his followers, perhaps stricken still by grief and reluctant to be disappointed again, doubts the good news. For this, Thomas was branded as “doubting.”

    What this story actually reinforces, however, is the very blind faith that often precludes curiosity and investigation. Of course, there were many in the history of scientific discovery who were devout Christians or Muslims, and many were driven by their faith. But they all fell short in that they presupposed their faith to shape science, and not the other way around. 

    As proud as I was to be a blind-faith follower of Jesus back then, I could never quite silence the voice that encouraged me to investigate. Often I found websites and misinformation that confirmed my biases, but eventually this tide began to turn. I simply could no longer ignore the fact that there was no evidence for much of what was in the Bible – and not just that, but heaps of evidence against much of what was in the Bible. 

    Accepting reality quieted a long and painful tumult within me. And though it hurt to leave the church, it was the right call. 

    A skeptic mind is seen as dangerous to these institutions that want nothing but control, so skeptic minds are villainized and cast out as “faithless,” “godless,” and “demonic.” Another common refrain is that people who leave the church “just want to sin.”

    Nothing could be further from the truth. Curiosity and investigation are part of what makes us human, and to lose that is to lose our humanity. We will revisit the pain of leaving the church in a future piece, but it felt applicable to this topic as well. 

    I do not think religion is “bad” for science or society. Religion, just like scientific investigation, is simply one method of embracing the human experience, a method that happens to be tied to the subjective rather than the objective. I think it can and very much has been a force for good. 

    But I do know that blind faith and loyalty with no skepticism is a dangerous idea, and one that can – and very much has – led humanity into its darkest depths.

  • A Spiritually Moribund Religion

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    “Let not the moving about of the disbelievers in the land deceive thee.” – Sūrah 3:197

    Being evil gets you far in this world. Take a look at the highest echelons of government and corporations. Evil pays, and it pays a lot. It pays even more when the masses have been conditioned to champion an evil cause through the guise of religion. 

    One issue I take with religions that promise divine retribution against “the disbelievers” in the afterlife is that this idea keeps the masses complacent and relatively pacified. We may dive further into this idea later, but today’s post concerns the success of evil people and the importance of deep, critical thought about one’s religion. 

    I am staunchly against the notion that religion arose as a method with which to control others, but it is undeniable that evil people manipulate it to their gain. This is one of those situations. 

    Take a moment to think about this. The teachings of Jesus were more or less socialistic in nature. He seemed to care very little about homosexuality, but very much about greed, thievery, and hospitality. There are countless verses attributed to him in which he urges his followers to welcome the foreigner, share the wealth, and put the self last. 

    Modern American Christianity stands in stark contrast to this. With the exception of a handful of disparate churches across the United States, American Christianity preaches rabid intolerance, prosperity gospel, and, in a historic twist of irony, a thinly-veiled egoism cast as piety. 

    The modern church would be unrecognizable to the early church. This is true of many religions. Like people and societies, religions evolve and change over time. They adapt, they transform, and they often split. 

    And they are not immune to people who seek naught but personal gain. 

    It is almost insulting how willingly the supposedly pious lay down their values to worship their idols. It makes one wonder if there were values to lay down to begin with. People like those at the helm of our government today are so transparently evil and antithetical to the maxims they preach – and that are parroted by the masses – that it is nearly unbelievable how thoroughly their followers have been conditioned and brainwashed. 

    There are many points of Christian theology I stand in disagreement with, but the core message of the religion is one I can relate to and support, and even admire at times. American Christianity does not fall under this umbrella. Evangelicalism has set society back countless decades and threatens to set us back centuries to come. 

    Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Any religion that professes to be concerned about the souls of men and is not concerned about the slums that damn them, the economic conditions that strangle them, and the social conditions that cripple them, is a spiritually moribund religion awaiting burial.” He was a Southern Baptist. 

    This quote and the idea behind it inspired some as-of-yet unpublished work of mine: “A religion which places human well-being second does not deserve to persist. This is not to say that a faith may change and adapt, but rarely throughout history has religion been a driver of progress. Thus it is necessary and overdue that something new comes to blossom.”

    It seems obvious to me that American Christianity is a thoroughly spiritually moribund religion. This statement only applies to the intolerant evangelical congregations, but it still applies to the vast majority of the church as a whole – enough so that it represents an existential threat to progress. 

    I am a firm believer in universal justice, and I believe the arc of the universe bends toward justice in the end. That does not alleviate us, in the here and now, from working to make our world a better place and protect it from people who would gladly subjugate others for their own gain.

  • ‘Sola Fide’ Repudio

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    “What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them?” – James 2:14

    A cornerstone of Protestant Christian theology is the notion of sola fide, or “faith alone.” I struggled with this even as a devout Christian – although I refused to admit such – and through much reflection eventually abandoned the idea. 

    In a nutshell, sola fide is the idea that to be saved, in the Christian sense, one simply must believe that Jesus was the son of God and died for the sins of humanity. That’s it. 

    Running against sola fide is fides formata – “faith formed by charity.” Those who subscribe to this idea maintain that one’s acknowledgement of Jesus’s divinity and sacrifice is meaningless if they do not do good in the world too. Those who cling to the idea of sola fide believe that deeds are a natural result of faith, but are unnecessary for salvation. 

    Sola fide is not an original teaching of Jesus. Yes, there are many places in which he tells his followers to have faith, but the other half of Jesus’s teachings – the half many are so quick to forget – involves actively bettering the world around oneself. 

    Sola fide arose as part of the Protestant Reformation in the early 1500s and traces its lineage to Martin Luther himself. Luther added the word “only” into a translation of the Bible to support his case that sola fide was the tenet “upon which the church stands or falls.”

    Even so, many Protestant denominations reject sola fide or hold to a softer version of it. 

    Naturally, the idea of sola fide begs the question: What happens to a good person who does not believe in Jesus? In many churches, they would be condemned to the fires of Hell. In others, there is the possibility of negotiation. Neither answer sits right with me. 

    On the other hand, what happens to a bad person who does believe in Jesus?

    Growing up, I asked this question of many spiritual leaders and role models, and I often received the same response. If a truly evil person truly believed in Jesus, or truly repented moments before death, they would be saved. Often the example of a certain German dictator was used to support this claim. To these church leaders, the idea that Adolf Hitler might be lounging around in Heaven was somehow not upsetting. It makes me wonder if they would be so forgiving for Islamic fundamentalists. 

    For a while, I was young enough that the other question had little meaning to me. I assumed everyone believed in God. I do not remember the first time this happened, but I do remember the horror I felt when I discovered someone I loved, someone I knew was a good person, was an atheist. 

    Of course, as I fell into evangelicalism, I had no issue with the other question, but it still bothered me that someone like Hitler could even be considered for paradise. I accepted it, but only reluctantly. As I broke free from the chains of that belief, a little voice in my mind began asking the other question again. 

    The idea that God is merciful but throws potentially the best of humanity into Hell simply because they were skeptical – or had not even heard of him – is impossible to rationalize. And, for all the talk of “free grace” and “free salvation,” attaching conditions renders these points moot. 

    This is not to say that salvation, whatever it is, should be without conditions. I believe it does come with the condition that one must do good in the world and to others, though my idea of “salvation” is more along the lines of acquiring an everlasting soul rather than lifting oneself from eternal flame. I also believe this is simply the nature of the universe, not a decree from on high. 

    Either way, faith in an event and another person’s identity as a condition of salvation is completely arbitrary. More worryingly, it gives bad-faith actors an easy loophole to salvation. For a child abuser, it is far more preferable to declare their faith in Jesus rather than amend their wicked ways. 

    On a human level, belief in Jesus labels one a Christian. Christianity is ubiquitous in our society now, but those who are outward in their devotion – which Jesus explicitly commanded his followers to avoid – are perceived as godly and pious regardless of their actions. Case in point – a while after I left the church, I learned that my former youth pastor had been cheating on his wife and had a baby with his lover. 

    I do not gamble, but I would bet that everyone has a story like this. I certainly have more, but cheating is among the most evil of actions in my mind, so this example has always stuck out to me. 

    Pastors rake in profits, cheaters retain social standing, and bigots spew hate that would make Jesus question his sacrifice. But because they have faith, they are unquestionable. 

    So, it is for all these reasons that I say confidently: ‘Sola fide’ repudio.

  • The Anomaly of Bigotry

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    “Treat the small as great and the few as many. Requite enmity with character.” – Daodejing 63

    Nature versus nurture – this debate has raged since time immemorial. I tend to ascribe more to nature than to nurture, but nurture reigns supreme in one particularly ugly aspect: bigotry. 

    At its core, bigotry is a fear of the unknown and unfamiliar. Eons ago, unfounded paranoia may have enabled a species to survive, but humanity has long outgrown this trait. Sapience, compassion, empathy – these are what enable a species not just to survive, but to truly thrive. 

    Bigotry is a grotesque outgrowth of this ancient survival instinct, one that our modern world must move past. And, at least during the earliest years of one’s life, this toxic trait has been abandoned. 

    Now it would be silly to claim that no one is born bigoted, but the vast majority of bigots were taught this toxic trait. Bad dogs are not born, only made. The same applies to humanity. 

    Humans are generally naturally curious creatures. On the surface, this may seem antithetical to survival, but a cautious curiosity allows life to surpass the bounds imposed upon it by the cold, unfeeling laws of nature. 

    Curiosity naturally begets education, and education begets understanding, compassion, and ultimately empathy. This is why curiosity is one of the three core pillars of my belief system – it is absolutely crucial to progress. 

    While some are more curious than others, it is safe to say that nearly every human is born with a vast capacity to learn and to question. Unfortunately, many are born to those who do not value curiosity and education, or even disparage it in order to impose a strict ruleset of their own. 

    So, as a naturally curious child grows up, the unlucky ones are taught by example that curiosity has little use, that the world is simple, and that difference is dangerous. The fortunate ones are taught, both by example and often in words, that curiosity is a virtue, that the world is beautifully complex, and that difference is what helps us to thrive and progress together. 

    In the United States, there is a common refrain among conservatives that teenagers are indoctrinated by liberal professors. This simply is not true. Good professors facilitate critical thinking and curiosity, which causes a person to question the constructs they held so dearly. A sheltered teenager also meets a wide variety of people they never knew could exist, and they see these people not as the crude villains somewhere outside of their rigid worldview, but as the beautiful people they are. 

    Curiosity leads to more than education and understanding – it leads to questioning. And to anyone obsessed with maintaining power and control, this is exceedingly dangerous. This is why religion has doctrine. This is why political movements built on this fundamental misunderstanding of the world tend to become so extreme. This is why abusive parents raise obedient children. 

    In a twisted way, most bigots begin as victims of this system. This in no way excuses their behavior or any harm they have caused, but it is key to a deeper understanding of what went wrong. 

    I still struggle with the idea that anyone can unlearn this behavior. After a certain point, this simplistic, fear-based worldview is so ingrained that it has what is left of the person in a stranglehold. At the same time, there are many who are taught by example that curiosity is unnecessary, but who still champion it despite the conditions of their youth. 

    To me, this indicates that curiosity is the default. Even in these harsh and abusive conditions, children being brought up to be obedient and unquestioning often sense that something is deeply wrong. Bigotry, on the other hand, nearly always has a source external to the person. 

    I may not be a parent yet, but I know that the best way a parent can answer a curious child’s question is to explain it – both honestly and in a way that they can understand and build upon later. And this extends to rules, too, for the most fundamental parts of a child’s worldview are formed around the rules by which they are bound. Certainly they have a place in rare situations, but possibly the four worst words a parent can utter are, “because I said so.”

    By and large, bigotry is taught. Curiosity is natural. Empathy is natural. To live life as a bigot is not just harmful to others, but it is a squandering of one’s own life and potential.

  • Beacon of Hope

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    “Why the laughter, why the joy, when flames are ever burning? Surrounded by darkness, shouldn’t you search for light?” – Dhammapada 11.146

    The world is a flawed place. Society is flawed, that is – nature is perfect in its own way. Amidst unmovable egos, covetous tyrants, and seemingly endless violence, it can be difficult to remain hopeful and joyous. 

    But progress is not linear, and hope and joy are allowed to waver. That is just human nature. What is most important to remember is that a temporary regression is just that – temporary. 

    This is not to say that regression is not dangerous or something to be concerned about. Anything that works against the arrow of progress is something to be strived against, and no future amount of progress will negate the damage of past or present regression. But what keeps one’s spirit alive is the prospect of progress, the notion of a better world. 

    Utopia is far from attainable in our current state. Indeed, many still operate on the more base desires of evolution: competition, greed, and selfishness. And so long as these traits persist, utopia is impossible. 

    Humanity is capable of so much more, but in order to achieve these higher feats, we must almost shed the shackles of our prior existence. Competition must be replaced by cooperation. Greed must be conquered by generosity. Altruism must supplant selfishness. 

    And any loving and omnipotent God would make it possible for all to achieve this level of greatness. For the individual, Heaven should not be difficult to enter, though Heaven for the whole may still be trillions of years away. 

    It is often frustrating to engage with those who refuse to let go of the traits that hold them back from progress, but patience is a virtue that will certainly offer reward to those who indulge it. Often the act of debate is not for the debater, but the observer. 

    To tell the observer that, despite all the cruelty, despite all the bloodshed and needless violence, there is someone who recognizes and celebrates the human condition, that is true camaraderie. That is the mark of a deep, genuine human bond, one whose brilliance is made yet more manifest by the darkness that threatens to choke it. 

    But remember – regression is always temporary. What is eternal is the human condition and the joy of life, existence, consciousness, and reality. What is fulfilling is sharing that with another. 

    Reality is awe-inspiring enough through one pair of eyes. How much more wondrous is it, then, through two?

  • Wives, Do Not Submit to Your Husbands

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    “Both partners must be fully equal, for neither should absorb the other, but both should unite as a couple.” – Lethe 15:11

    My wife and I had the privilege of attending a wedding this past weekend, and I was pleasantly struck by both the genuineness and the egalitarianism of the ceremony. 

    Traditional weddings often include a call to the bride to submit to her husband and his will, and this has never sat right with me. To each their own, I suppose, but the idea of one partner subsuming the other seems antithetical to love. 

    Now, I do not want to make the assumption that all those who have ceremonies including this line, sourced from the Epistle to the Ephesians, subscribe to this idea. Indeed many of that faith read the line in reference to a sort of mutual respect, but it is clear that this line and others like it have been used to justify inequality in what should be the most equal partnership of all. 

    That said, when a sacred partnership such as this is overtaken by jealousy, paranoia, and inequality, it is a sad sight indeed for all involved. Some marriages are not meant to last, but an ideal marriage sees both partners give equally, sacrifice only when necessary, and generally enjoy each other simply for who they are. 

    The second a hierarchy is introduced, these goals become much more difficult to achieve. 

    In preparation for my own wedding ceremony, I wrote the verses to be recited and asked my wife – then fiancée – to approve them before sending them to our officiant. In these verses, I made it clear that those who seek to enter into marriage with each other must be equal with each other, regardless of gender or sex. The verse at the top of this piece was one of those recited during our ceremony a couple months ago, from “The Song of Wedlock” that is included in the Fithwrit. 

    The wedding this weekend was also a wholesome one, with the officiant telling the story of the couple’s journey together and the bride and groom both crediting each other for helping them through their most difficult and vulnerable of moments. I had never formally met the groom, but hearing his vows, I knew he loved his bride as much as she loved him, and that this would be a joyful marriage. 

    In my own marriage, I also did not invoke a higher power. Similarly to my views on morality, I do not believe an external being is necessary to hold together a marriage. If anything, such focus on an external being may obscure those who are actually married. Again, to each their own – this is simply my thinking on the subject and what my wife and I agreed upon quite readily. 

    Regardless of what is or is not read in a ceremony, one partner making the call over the other is unhealthy. The “tradwife” movement of late is especially unnerving. Similarly to my views on individuality and spirituality, to give oneself up so fully to another’s whim is to forsake one’s humanity and agency. 

    Marriage truly is a wonderful thing, and something I do believe to be sacred. My daughters, should I have any in the future who choose to marry, will certainly know their worth as people in their own right, and not simply as another person’s wife. 

    Wives, do not submit to your husbands.